When I hit a new city, that city’s third cousin it never even knew it had who was lost at sea at the age of two and who was subsequently raised as a Polynesian aristocrat, later rejected that upbringing, and now owns a head shop in Amsterdam just off the Redlight District feels it.

Yeah.

I leave for LA on Friday. When word got out the phone started ringing off the hook. Because I still own a telephone from 1987, apparently. And yes, mostly it was collection agencies wanting their fucking money before I skipped town, but there were also more than a few excited calls wanting to know how fast and in what capacity they could exploit my presence. Being the ardent fan of exploitation that I am, I weighed the options carefully and slowly my dance card began to fill.

This first number is going to be a doozey.

On March 21st I’ll be appearing at Meltdown Comics on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles as part of a monthly event hosted by the Southern California Mystery Writers of America. I’ll be taking part in a round-table discussion entitled GENRE OUTLAWS: FICTION WITHOUT BORDERS (a rock star title if ever there was one. I want to take that shit on tour). We’ll be talking about the action and the juice of writing stories that cross and combine genres and any and everything related to hybrid fiction. The round-table will include me, graphic novelist and 30 DAYS OF NIGHT creator Steve Niles, Harlequin author Linda O. Johnston, and moderator, Edgar nominee and author of one of my all-time favorite novels, HOODTOWN, Christa Faust.

That’s about as legit and genre-crossing as it gets in this world, kids.

This is a rare free event for both MWA members and non-members alike. Complimentary refreshments will be provided. I doubt that means open bar, and it would be irresponsible of me to advocate you sneak in alcohol, midnight show-style. So bring weed, it’s healthier.

It was an honor to be invited to take part in this discussion. Besides which, when the SoCal chapter, well-known to be the dirtiest and most krunk chapter around, of Mystery Writers of America calls you up and says, “We want you to come down to the largest comic book shop on the west coast and talk about your fucked up hybrid stories with Steve Niles, an upscale crime-and-paranormal-peppering porn slinger, and Christa Faust and her myriad tattoos,” you tool up and hit the Strip, because that shit is going to be a party worth crashing.

It’s going down 2 p.m.—4:00 p.m. on Sunday, March 21st, 2010. I’m also fully expecting since it is happening at the largest comic book shop on the west coast and it’s Steve Niles that no one will give a fuck what I have to say, but my presence will be felt. So if you’re going to be on the coast that weekend and want to feel my presence live and in person, hit up the granddaddy of west coast comic book emporiums, support the SoCal Mystery Writers of America, have a free drink, and get some knowledge dropped on you by a quartet of writers who treat rules like the condom machine at a truck stop.

Welcome to LA.