Scott Sigler is many things. He’s a pioneer in the field of podcasting. He’s a New York Times best-selling author. He’s a three-time runner-up in the Mr. Jewish Five O’Clock Shadow contest.

But above all, he’s a needy little bitch.

Seriously. Knowing of my turgid, rock-hard prowess as a writer coupled with my confirmed status as a combat sport enthusiast, Sigler approached me about laying down a little joint storytelling effort set in his ROOKIE universe. You’ve been enjoying the results—TITLE FIGHT—on Sigler’s Bloodcast, Variant Frequencies, and as part of Future History here on KILL (the) FEED.

“Coincidentally” our Rookie-centric novella comes just in time for the release of THE ROOKIE in limited edition hardcover. Sigler is hitting the road for a month-long book tour in support of that release, and in usual Sigler fashion he’s making things as convoluted and punk rock as possible. Rather than a traditional book signing, he’s doing this thing up tailgate style. Sigler will be hitting a different pub in a different city every night to meet-and-greet fans and drink the unfortunate town dry.

It’s THE ROOKIE TAILGATE TOUR.

And, also in his usual fashion, he’s hit me up for yet more free help.

I’ll be joining Sigler for two stops at the start of the tour, first in Nashville and then in Indianapolis (why he’s chosen to blow his wad so early in this traveling freak show is beyond me, as all other stops after these two will obviously be weak sauce). I’ll be there to booze it up with you common folk types, talk TITLE FIGHT, and generally underpin all the Sigler worship with a distinct note of hate/envy/sarcasm.

But WAIT. There’s more.

Since this will be the start of the tour and one of my ultra-rare public appearances, I wanted to do the sumbitch up right. So I asked myself, “What is Scott Sigler *really* all about?” The answer, striking and obvious and immediate, came to me like a bolt of lightning from some bizarro Mount Olympus: Corporate sponsorship and beer.

With those themes in mind we have sought out none other than BUDWEISER to sponsor the Nashville stop of the Rookie Tailgate Tour. That’s right, THE KING OF BEERS HIMSELF HAS BLESSED THIS EVENT AND BY PROXY SIGLER’S BOOK AND TOUR.

What does that mean? Simple. Lots of free booze, lots of free swag, and lots and lots of corporate branding.

It’s win-win-win.

So here’s the deal: If you show up to the gig with either a copy of THE ROOKIE or a copy of THE NEXT FIX you’ll get a VIP wristband that entitles you to drink for free all night courtesy of Budweiser. If you buy a book at the gig itself you’ll also get a wristband and free beer. Budweiser is also busting out free soft drinks for the kids and/or you clean-livin’ types.

In addition, there will be free swag for all *AND* Budweiser will be sponsoring a raffle to benefit the Wounded Warriors Fund. Grand prize will be an iPod and an iPod docking station/speaker set-up. Tickets will be sold at the door for a buck apiece.

Just look for the Budweiser Avalanche. It’ll be parked in front of the Crow’s Nest in Nashville with its sonic system blaring and a huge banner draped from bumper-to-bumper proclaiming: SCOTT SIGLER’S ROOKIE TAILGATE TOUR.

There may even be a few Bud Girls on-site. Who knows?

This is an exclusive for the folks turning out to the Nashville stop, and I guaran-damn-tee you it will be the biggest blow-out of the whole tour.

WHEN: Tuesday, September 8th, 5:30 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.

WHERE: Crow’s Nest, 2221 Bandywood Drive, Nashville, TN 37215

Budweiser won’t be joining us in Indianapolis, but I’ll still be there at the CROSSROADS OF MOTHERFUCKING AMERICA to blaze it up like a spliff rolled by Bob Marley’s ghost and moistened shut by the carnal fluids of those hot elven chicks from Lord of the Rings.

WHEN: Wednesday, September 9th, 5:30 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.

WHERE: Blue Crew Bar & Grill, 7035 East 96th Street, Indianapolis, IN 46250

Be there or… well, you’ll only get to hang out with Sigler. And that’s just lame.

Trust me, I’ve done it.