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Posted November 8th, 2009 at 02:24:25 EST
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Dear Jack Bauer,
The only reason you’re still conscious is because
Anthony Johnson hasn’t knocked you the fuck out yet.
Sincerely,
Chuck Norris Facts
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Dear Yoshiyuki Yoshida,
Seeing as how maybe one in every ten thousand
Americans has any idea the name “Yoshida” is like
“Smith” in Japan, and odds are none of that percentage
represent mainstream MMA fans, my gold medal in
Judo and I would like you to stop being such a little
bitch.
Sincerely,
Hidehiko Yoshida
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Dear Former Star High School Quarterback,
I get it now.
Sincerely,
Ben “Former Big Swinging Dick of the IFA” Rothwell
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Dear Shogun,
Answer: Chuck Liddell, Kevin Randleman, Quinton
Jackson, Antonio Nogueira.
Question: Who are four fighters of an insanely higher
caliber than Lyoto Machida whom you were able to
finish in less than five rounds.
Sincerely,
A Jeopardy Metaphor for my Lack of Sympathy
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Dear Lyoto Machida,
On second thought, you should’ve chosen the off-ramp
that led to a brief life as an underage Latin American
sex worker.
Sincerely,
Mr. Hoober-Bloob
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