Mar 2

March 2, 2016

Why a Little Ebook Novella Being On-Sale for One Day for Ninety-Nine Cents is a Big F’n Deal

Listen, we’re friends, right? We’ve been through some serious shit together. Like the thing with the guy at the place that time, that was wild, right? But we came through it. Ride or die. All that. We’re like the two friends from Johnny Cash’s cover of “I See a Darkness” by that ginger hipster kid. So, I want to talk honestly with you for a second here. Here’s the truth: Most books just aren’t bought or read by that many…

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Feb 12

February 12, 2016

Top 10 Reasons You Should Make LUSTLOCKED Your Valentine

Love and cheap hook-ups are in the air, folks! Sunday is Valentine’s Day, and I have a new book out I feel is particularly appropriate, or particularly inappropriate but in a good way, to the occasion. It’s called Lustlocked, and it’s the follow-up to Envy of Angels, the debut book in my Sin du Jour series of supernatural comedy urban fantasy-type stories. You have a lot of options for entertainment this weekend, including some pretty sick V-Day counter-programming from flicks like Deadpool, the…

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Jan 26

January 26, 2016

LUSTLOCKED is live! Also, a quick and dirty primer on my novella series!

  Sniff. Do you smell that? I love the smell of pulp and LCD screens in the morning. It smells like…book release day. Here we go again, folks. Today my new book LUSTLOCKED is live! It’s the second book in my new supernatural comedy action romance drama urban fantasy series, Sin du Jour, from Tor.com Publishing. It’s more fun than ants in the pants, an eight-ball of cocaine, and watching every Jim Varney Ernest movie in chronological order. And it’s…

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Jan 25

January 25, 2016

Dear David,

What has two thumbs, toes that bend all the way back due to a tragic clog dancing mishap, and absolutely no sense of timing? You guessed it, sir. THIS guy. Here’s the thing. We didn’t really think you were human. That’s what it all comes down to, I think. You didn’t look human, you didn’t sound human, you didn’t act human, and you didn’t live a life relatable to 99.9% of regular-ass human beings. You seemed gloriously otherworldly. That more…

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Jan 19

January 19, 2016

My brand new Sin du Jour short story “Small Wars” has just been posted on Tor.com!

Stephen King once described short stories as “a quick kiss in the dark from a stranger,” which I used to think was cool and mysterious and romantic and now realize is pretty creepy and stalkerish and actually kind of assault now that I really think about it. Yeah. Anyway. Authorial definitions change, is my point. How we define fiction and our work and ourselves, it’s a constant, frantic, Jarod-from-The–Pretender-which-was-a-really-good-and-underrated-TV-show-in-my-opinion evolution. Take me. Ten years ago (Jesus, yes, ten fucking years)…

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Jan 13

January 13, 2016

From Parts Unknown announces RENCOR: LIFE IN GRUDGE CITY, the debut novella in a new series by me!

Professional wrestling was my first career. I began training when I was fifteen years old, at the legendary Doghouse in Jamaica, Queens. I turned pro at seventeen. We’ve always called ourselves “workers,” and I was a worker for almost ten years of my life. I loved it with everything I was and everything I had to give to the business. It was everything to me. I worked all over the country and in Mexico. I retired in my mid-twenties because, quite…

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Jan 6

January 6, 2016

Funny Books Don’t Win Awards So Don’t Bother Reading This Eligibility Post

Did you know Terry Pratchett never won a Hugo Award? No, seriously. He didn’t. Ever. I KNOW, RIGHT? I was shocked. I mean that. I was genuinely gobsmacked when I looked it up a while back. In fact, he wasn’t even short-listed for a Hugo until 2005, thirty-four years into his publishing career. And do you know what he did? This part abso-fucking-lutely blew my mind, folks. He turned the nomination down. The man turned down a nomination he’d been…

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Dec 24

December 24, 2015

It’s Christmas Eve and here’s a bunch of stuff I hope for you folks…

Today is Christmas Eve. I’m not religious, but I do observe Christmas. I enjoy the tradition. It’s one of a very few my family kept year after year when I was a kid. I enjoy the different feel of the holiday season as opposed to the rest of the year. Even in my most anti-social years of unabashed assholery, I was always my least cynical around the holidays. I could even be downright merry, although as a fat dude I…

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Dec 15

December 15, 2015

A bunch of VERY cool LUSTLOCKED news plus very organized shilling!

Hey, folks. If you’re joining our program in-progress, my new book ENVY OF ANGELS dropped just shy of two months back, and it’s been received better than I could have ever possibly anticipated. Both reader and critic reviews have been almost universally positive, including utterly sick write-ups from Publishers Weekly, Barnes & Noble’s Sci-Fi and Fantasy Blog, SF Signal, and a slew of other review sites and blogs. People are loving and laughing at the book, and the latter is…

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Oct 20

October 20, 2015

An important message from an author (who is me) on the day of their book release.

I have a new book out today. It’s called ENVY OF ANGELS. It’s the first in a new series of books I’m writing for Tor.com Publishing called Sin du Jour, about a crew of professional New York City chefs and magic-users who cater events for the underworld of the supernatural. I do my best to make it funny and fucked up and unexpected and about people you care about. I think it’s pretty good. I’m writing at least three more…

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